I used to think that conflict was impossible and hopeless. For me it looked like fight, flight, or freeze. Our ancestors used that strategy, and it worked pretty well against saber-toothed tigers when conflict meant survival. Unfortunately, fight, flight, and freeze wasn’t working for me in my relationships.
I started practicing mediation some years ago with John Kinyon and Ike Lasater back when my kids and I were stuck. How in the world was I supposed to come up with strategies that worked for both of them when they were in conflict!
John and Ike break down the stages of mediation into detailed steps – like a map. The maps they offer are ways we’d act open-heartedly before we learned to protect ourselves along the way.
One of my favorite maps is called “Mourn, Celebrate, & Learn.” This map replaces the impulse to judge ourselves as failures. Instead, we feel the sadness of what didn’t go as we wanted, celebrate what did, and learn for the next time.
After practicing these maps of connection even briefly, I’ve noticed a rapid transformation in participants of John and Ike’s trainings. The participants are grateful to experience hope and meaningful connection with themselves and with others in the training.
Speaking of celebrations, I’m excited to announce that John Kinyon will be here in San Mateo to present one of his weekend NVC Mediation retreats with me, as co-facilitator! Come join us March 9-11. More details are available at www.NVCMediation.com. Just click on “Weekend Retreats. Enroll now.”
I hope to see you there!