What’s the Big Deal About Grieving?

I’m aware that I talk about grieving a fair amount.  That is, grieving our disappointments and losses, like an innocent child would.  Doing what comes naturally when we hurt. Letting our tears heal us.
Photo courtesy of Vassil
Photo courtesy of Vassil
Many of us lose that connection to our tears.
When  I was a child, I remember my mom saying harshly to me, “Quit your crying!”
I also remember her telling me in recent years how proud of herself she was for not crying.  She’d say, “It really hurt, but I didn’t cry.”  It turns out that not only did she not have room in her worldview for me to cry, she didn’t have an acceptance of her own tears.
When I began finding my way back to being true to myself, I was frequently embarrassed by my crying.  My tears would almost shutdown each time by the quit-your-crying neuro-pathways that had developed in me over time.
As I continued I began to understand my history and the beliefs that developed in me.  With determination to be myself, I took back my natural instinct to cry when I hurt or when I’m deeply touched.
Once I heard someone say that the depth of our tears is equal to the height of our joy.  John Vance Cheney put it this way, “The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
These days I experience my healing tears and my grieving as a true gift, a rainbow of sorts, for myself and for others whose hearts are touched with my expression.
Washington Irving said about tears, “There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”
What is your relationship with your tears?  Sacred or suppressed or somewhere in between?  I’d love to hear.  🙂
In peace and love, Teresa

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