Over the last couple of months since our mom passed away, my brother and I have been undertaking the enormous project of cleaning out 50 years of accumulation at our mom’s house.
During this whole period of time I’ve expressed my feelings and needs openly. Amazing:
- I told my brother before we began the project that our relationship meant more to me than any material item of Mom’s. In the past I might not have been so clear about my priorities or willing to express myself.
- While working with my sister-in-law, I cried openly when we came across one of my mom’s favorite scarves. I remembered how cute Mom was to still dress at the ripe old age of 96. Later my sister-in-law said she’d been touched by the beauty in my expression of emotion. In the past I would have choked back the tears and felt shutdown.
- I apologized to my brother when I found fault with something he’d done. It gave us the opportunity to talk it out, and I sensed that he was pleased to hear me address it. In the past I would have not spoken about it with him and instead felt awkward about it and disconnected.
It seems simple. I feel the feelings, and then I express myself.
Not so simple for me. Having been someone who grew up being punished for expressing my feelings and needs, this freedom represents lots of empathic, compassionate attunement to those young parts living within me that got hurt trying to speak.
Now I am savoring the difference.
I’ve been feeling shout-it-from-the-rooftops FREE and EMPOWERED !!!
It’s like Krishnamurti said, “Total freedom lies in complete vulnerability.”
Are there times when you express yourself vulnerably and savor the difference?
In peace and love, Teresa