Conflict Resolution

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful.  ~Barbara Bloom

Photo courtesy of Ilmari Karonen

What if conflict is an opportunity for greater understanding, for sweeter intimacy, and for deeper trust?

What if we leave behind our old patterns of “who’s right” and “who’s wrong” – that leave us feeling disconnected and alone?

Often conflict may be resolved with compromise, leaving the people involved feeling resentment toward one another. I help clients with a style of conflict resolution that does not lead to compromise. Instead, we work together to create a solution where everyone gets their needs met. In this style of facilitation it is much more likely that you will leave the process with a sense of being heard, a deeper understanding of the conflict, and a resolution that is “doable” for everyone involved.

The process is simple and powerful.  First, I meet with each person individually.  I create a safe and confidential space* where each of you can feel free to express your anger, distrust, resentment, fear, sadness or anything else that’s important to voice.

Once each person gets to the heart of what’s going on, we come together to talk about the circumstances that brought you both to facilitation. We go back and forth until everyone feels heard and upsets are clearly understood. Through this process each of you gains clarity and mutual understanding, resulting in a common vision and “doable” action steps for resolution.

Often after sharing openly and vulnerably with one another, the relationship is even stronger, deeper, and more beautiful than before.

If you are interested in transforming the conflict in your life, I invite you to contact me at 650 787-6527 or email me at to setup a complimentary 20 minute phone consultation.

*Listen to Brene Brown’s words on The Power of Vulnerability here.

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